Wednesday, August 5, 2009

The Super Hero Debacle

Nothing makes me more crazy than approximate truth. It has to be all or nothing. Recently it's come to my attention that I'm unable to sit through super hero films. Not because of a lack of action or entertainment value, but because of the film maker's ineptitude. With the power of the internet at their fingertips, you'd think they would do a little research. At the very least, go to a nerd forum and ask some questions.

Case in point: The Juggernaut in X-Men 3. I understand that they wanted to avoid the details like him being Charles Xavier's step brother and that he isn't a mutant because the story line would have been clouded in a miasma of nerdery. On the other hand, they didn't stick to the character they had created. When they first introduce him, he's confined in an armored vehicle in a device that doesn't allow him to move. This is because once he's moving he can't be stopped. Near the end of the movie, Shadow Cat phases him up to his chest into a concrete floor. And instead of effectively trapping him, (since he couldn't move) he suddenly is able to rip his way out. Ridiculous.

As bad as that detail gnawed at me, Wolverine:Origins nearly gave me conniptions. I'll just make a list:

-Wolverine and Sabertooth are not brothers. The creator of the character initially designed to have Sabertooth be Wolverine's father, that other writers disagreed and that has been played down.

-Sabertooth is not Dog. Dog is a character that was only in James' life for a limited period of time. The last time you see Dog is when he's laying unconcious right after James accidentally kills Rose.

-Agent Zero. Is a mess. They had him flipping around and jumping into helicopters like he had springs in his legs. He doesn't have that ability. He absorbs kinetic energy. They had him dodging bullets in the beginning. That would have been counterproductive for him. He would have walked to the gate and torn it from the hinges with all the energy that he had absorbed.

-Muscular Blob? The Blob's powers come from his flabbiness.

-Silver Fox. Her only power was an artificial healing factor made by Weapon X. The touch mental control thing was stupid.

-Silver Fox and Emma Frost aren't sisters. Duh.

-Adamantium Bullets. That whole thing was stupid. Shooting someone in the head to erase their memory? Really? And does that mean that Wolverine has permanent holes in his skull?


Ok Ok... I'm being knitpicky... but these things could have been easily avoided. And don't think I won't have a pen and paper ready for the next movie.

1 comment:

  1. You know what I consider a debacle? Beauty Pageants. I mean, I would consider starting a blog just to write an entry- so you should consider it for your next post. Just watch toddlers and tiaras and you will see what I mean. I know this seems as if it has nothing to do with your post, but the thematic idea of ineptitude featured in modern media is what reminded me. I am so tempted to write a lot about this, but I think we should watch the show I mentioned and you will have plenty of material. I'm liking the blog. At least we entertain eachother;)

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